The buyers were a young couple who could close in three weeks and they offered asking price. I used the proceeds to pay off the mortgage and the rest went into my savings account. I was now completely debt-free and had enough money to start over anywhere I wanted.
But I wasn’t leaving town yet. I wanted to watch the rest of this play out. Three months after I’d filed for divorce, I ran into an old colleague at a coffee shop downtown.
Maria had worked at Asher’s old company before she moved to a different firm. Heidi. How are you? I heard about… She trailed off awkwardly.
About my divorce. I’m great actually. Better than I’ve been in years.
I’m glad. You deserve better than… Well anyway. She paused.
I don’t know if I should tell you this but I saw Asher last week. Oh. He applied for a job at my company.
I was on the interview panel. I tried to look disinterested but I was dying to know more. How did it go? Maria grimaced.
Not well. He looked terrible, like he hadn’t slept in weeks. And when we asked about the gap in his employment he got defensive and started talking about how his vindictive ex-wife had ruined his life.
I nearly choked on my laugh. He said that in a job interview? Oh it gets worse. When we asked for references he couldn’t provide any recent ones because apparently he’s burned bridges with most of his former colleagues.
And when Asher called to verify his last employment, they found out he’d been let go for poor performance. Not downsizing like he’d claimed. Wow.
Yeah. We passed on him pretty quickly. I felt bad but… He shrugged.
We can’t hire someone who badmouths his ex-wife in an interview. After Maria left I sat in that coffee shop for another hour, processing this information. Asher was sabotaging himself at every turn and he was blaming me for it.
Perfect. That evening my phone rang. It was a number I didn’t recognize.
Hello. Heidi. It’s me.
Rosemary. I almost hung up but curiosity got the better of me. What do you want? I’m in the hospital.
Despite everything a spike of concern shot through me. What happened? Is the baby okay? The baby’s fine. I’m fine.
But… She started crying. Asher’s not here. What do you mean he’s not there? I went into early labor yesterday.
I called him and called him but he didn’t answer. I had to call my mom to drive me to the hospital. I frowned.
Where was he? Job hunting apparently. But Heidi he’s been gone for three days. He said he had interviews in Milwaukee and might need to stay overnight but that was Sunday.
It’s Wednesday. And… I think he’s drinking again. What do you mean again? He used to have a problem in college.
Before he too got serious. I thought he’d stopped but lately… She sniffled. He’s been coming back to my parents’ house smelling like alcohol and yesterday when I called him he sounded drunk.
I should have felt satisfied. This was exactly the kind of karma I’d been hoping for. But instead I felt something I didn’t expect.
Pity. For her not for him. Rosemary why are you calling me? Because I don’t know what to do.
My parents are already stressed about me living there with the baby coming. And now Asher’s disappeared and I’m scared and I don’t have anyone else to… Stop. My voice was sharp.
You don’t get to call me for support. You don’t get to make me your backup plan after you stole my husband. I know but… But nothing.
You wanted him Rosemary. You fought for him. You got pregnant by him.
You broke up my marriage for him. Well congratulations. This is what you won.
Heidi please. You called me your best friend for 10 years. And then you stabbed me in the back for a man who can’t even show up when you’re having his baby.
That’s the choice you made. Now live with it. I hung up and immediately blocked her number.
But her words haunted me for the rest of the night. Asher was drinking again. He was disappearing for days at a time.
And Rosemary was alone in a hospital room having just given birth to his child. Good I told myself. They deserved each other.
The divorce was finalized on a cold Tuesday in February, exactly four months after I’d walked into that baby shower. I sat in the courthouse next to James Walker, watching as the judge signed the papers that officially ended my marriage. Asher wasn’t there.
His court-appointed lawyer, he couldn’t afford to hire his own, said he was dealing with a family emergency. What kind of emergency? The judge asked. His newborn son is in the NICU your honor.
Complications from premature birth. I felt a flicker of something. Not quite sympathy but not satisfaction either.
A baby in the NICU was serious, regardless of the circumstances of his conception. But then the lawyer continued. Mr. Martinez is also currently seeking treatment for alcohol dependency.
There was the final domino. James leaned over and whispered. Are you okay with proceeding without him here? Absolutely.
The judge reviewed our settlement agreement one more time. It was exactly what I’d wanted. I kept everything that was legally mine, which was nearly everything.
The house sale proceeds, my retirement accounts, my car, my personal belongings. Asher got nothing except his clothes and his debts. Mrs. Martinez, do you understand that this agreement means you will receive no alimony and owe no alimony? Yes, your honor.
And you’re satisfied with this arrangement? Completely. Very well. The marriage between Heidi Martinez and Asher Martinez is hereby dissolved.
Just like that, it was over. Walking out of that courthouse, I felt lighter than I had in years. The winter air was crisp and clean.
And for the first time since this whole nightmare began, I felt like I could see my future clearly. James walked me to my car. So what’s next for you? I’ve been offered a promotion at work.
Senior Vice President of Marketing. It would mean relocating to our Seattle office. Congratulations.
You taking it? I think so. There’s nothing keeping me here anymore. What about your family? I thought about my parents who still called occasionally to guilt me about abandoning Asher in his time of need.
About my mother-in-law who’d sent me a nasty letter about how I was destroying an innocent baby’s chance at having a father. My real family is my Aunt Gina. She’s thinking about moving to the Pacific Northwest anyway.
Says she’s tired of Chicago winters. James smiled. Sounds like a fresh start.
Exactly what I need. Six months later, I was settled into my new life in Seattle. I had a corner office with a view of Puget Sound, a small but beautiful apartment in Capitol Hill, and for the first time in years I was dating again.
Nothing serious, but it felt good to remember that I was an attractive, successful woman who deserved to be treated well. I hadn’t heard anything about Asher or Rosemary since the divorce, and I’d been happy to keep it that way. But Aunt Gina, who’d moved to Portland and visited me regularly, occasionally brought news from Chicago.
Your mother called me last week. She said over dinner at my favorite seafood place. Oh.
She wanted me to give you a message. I sighed. Let me guess.
Asher’s doing terrible and it’s all my fault. Shelly no. She wanted to apologize.
I nearly dropped my fork. What? Apparently, Rosemary finally told them the truth about how the affair started. Which is? Gina pulled out her phone and scrolled through her notes.
According to your mother, Rosemary admitted that she pursued Asher. Aggressively. Started showing up at your house when she knew you were traveling, bringing him food, offering to help with job applications.
Your mother said Rosemary told her she’d been attracted to Asher since college but never acted on it until she saw an opportunity. I felt a strange mix of vindication and disgust. So she’s admitting she deliberately broke up my marriage.
Gets worse. She also admitted that she lied about the timeline. The affair didn’t start a year ago.
It started almost two years ago, right after Asher lost his job. Two years. While I was working myself to death to keep us afloat, both of them had been planning my destruction.
There’s more, Gina continued. Apparently, Asher’s been in and out of rehab three times since the baby was born. Rosemary finally threw him out permanently last month.
What? She filed for a restraining order. Said he’d gotten violent when he was drinking. I sat back in my chair processing this.
Where is he now? Homeless, near as anyone can tell. Living out of his car when he can afford gas. Crashing at shelters when he can’t.
I should have felt triumphant. This was everything I’d wanted, wasn’t it? Complete destruction of the man who’d betrayed me? That I felt… empty. What about the baby? Healthy now, thank God.
Rosemary moved back in with her parents. Your mother said she seems pretty miserable. Good.
But even as I said it, I wasn’t sure I meant it anymore. Eight months after my divorce was finalized, I flew back to Chicago for a work conference. I hadn’t planned to see anyone from my old life, but fate had other plans.
I was walking out of the hotel on my last night in town when I saw him. Asher was sitting on a bench outside the Starbucks across the street, and for a moment I didn’t recognize him. He’d lost at least 30 pounds, his hair was longer and unkempt, and his clothes looked like they hadn’t been washed in days.
He was staring at nothing, holding a cardboard cup that probably contained the cheapest coffee on the menu. This was the man who’d broken my heart. The man I’d loved for seven years.
The man I’d supported and trusted and believed in. He looked like a ghost. I should have walked away.
I should have gotten in my rental car and driven back to the airport without looking back. Instead I found myself crossing the street. Asher.
He looked up and I saw the exact moment he recognized me. His face went through a series of emotions. Surprise, shame, hope, despair, before settling on resignation.
Heidi. I sat down on the other end of the bench, keeping distance between us. You look.
He trailed off, shaking his head. You look amazing. Success suits you.
Thank you. We sat in silence for a few minutes. He smelled like alcohol and cigarettes, and I could see his hands shaking as he held his coffee cup.
I heard about the baby. I said finally. Congratulations.
He laughed, a bitter sound. Congratulations. I haven’t seen him in two months.
Rosemary won’t let me anywhere near him. Maybe that’s for the best. Yeah.
Probably. He took a sip of coffee. I fucked up everything, didn’t I? Yes, you did.
I thought. He shook his head again. I don’t know what I thought.
That the grass was greener, I guess. That if I could just start over with someone who didn’t know what a failure I was. I never thought you were a failure.
No? Because I sure felt like one. You were so successful, so put together. And I was just this unemployed loser living off his wife’s money.
So you decided to cheat on me with my best friend? I decided to be selfish. I decided to take the easy way out instead of dealing with my problems. He looked at me for the first time since I’d sat down.
I’m sorry, Heidi. I know that doesn’t mean anything now, but I’m sorry. I studied his face, looking for signs of manipulation, of the charm he’d always been able to turn on when he needed something from me.
But I didn’t see any of that. I just saw a broken man who destroyed his life through his own choices. What happened to you, Asher? The drinking, I mean.
Started right after you left. Couldn’t deal with the guilt, couldn’t deal with the stress. Couldn’t deal with the fact that I’d thrown away the best thing in my life for.
He gestured vaguely. For nothing, it turns out. Rosemary wasn’t nothing.
Wasn’t she? He loved the idea of me, maybe. The idea of stealing someone else’s husband, of winning some competition I didn’t even know we were having. But she didn’t love me.
How could she? She didn’t even know me. I thought about what Gina had told me about Rosemary pursuing him, about the lies they’d both told about when it started. She admitted that she came after you, I said.
Yeah. Took her long enough. He rubbed his face with his free hand.
