«Could Sonya really be so cruel to me? She swore she loved me. Was it all just a betrayal? He didn’t want to believe it, but doubts tore him apart. Paralyzed, he barely managed to move and staggered away, without looking back.
That day, Sonya was trapped by circumstances. She was asked to stay on duty all night because a child with severe burns had been admitted. She called home and warned her mother she wouldn’t be back until morning. Her mother, without saying a word about having kicked Paul out, merely calculated happily in her mind that by the time her daughter returned, the young man would be long gone.
Paul wanted to stay and wait for Sonya to clear things up in person. It was unbearable for him to think that everything they had shared was a simple lie. His heart was breaking, but his pride took over. «Better to leave, not to risk it. Let them live as they wish. Who am I to them? Just a homeless guy,» he decided, surrendering to fate.
When Sonya finally returned home and didn’t see Paul, she immediately understood everything. Agitated and furious, she lashed out at her mother.
— Mom, why did you do this? I know it was your doing. You kicked him out, didn’t you? I love him, do you understand? Where am I supposed to find him now?
Her mother, unwilling to accept the accusations, went on the defensive.
— It’s always my fault with you. Your drifter left on his own; I didn’t even lay a finger on him. But I’m not going to cry over him. You fell in love with him? Well, since you love him. Maybe on the third try you’ll finally find a decent fiancé. How many more riff-raffs are you going to bring home? I don’t know who you take after, turning out like this.
Sonya was profoundly shocked. She couldn’t believe Paul would just leave like that; everything between them had been wonderful. Tears streamed down her face. She didn’t know what her mother might have said to him, but she felt she had lost him forever. «Where will I find Paul now? I’ll be lost without him,» Sonya repeated, unable to calm down.
Hoping to find him and explain everything, she rushed out into the street and hurried back to the same subway underpass where they had once met. She looked around, asked passersby, but they only shrugged. She searched the outskirts for about an hour, but Paul had vanished as if into thin air. Sonya felt betrayed, and tears continued to roll down her cheeks. Outside, a torrential rain poured, and the wind tore the last leaves from the trees. But Sonya didn’t even notice. She just walked, weeping endlessly, soaked to the bone and in deep despair.
As a result, she caught a severe cold and became seriously ill. She was laid up for three whole weeks with a high fever, helplessly screaming Paul’s name in her delirium. When the illness finally receded a little, Sonya was still devastated and broken. She went to work mechanically, and at home, she sat in her room for hours, crying her eyes out. But soon, she began to notice strange symptoms. She started feeling intensely nauseous and realized she was pregnant. Her medical background helped her quickly grasp the full reality. The situation seemed hopeless.
The child’s father was a drifter who had simply vanished without a trace, and her own mother barely tolerated her. If she found out about the pregnancy, she wouldn’t have a moment’s peace. Every single day, Sonya went to that same subway underpass, almost on a schedule, hoping to catch even a glimpse of her Paul. And then, one day, she thought she recognized him from behind, and her heart pounded wildly.
— Paul! Paul! I finally found you! she exclaimed loudly, but it turned out to be just a random passerby.
In despair, she began to ponder what to do about the child she carried. Various thoughts swirled in her head, that there was simply no right way out. Everything seemed hopeless. Sonya decided to go to a doctor and first submitted all the necessary tests. And then, a few days later, she was already lying on the exam table, preparing for an abortion. The stern doctor, clearly judging her, was getting ready to start the procedure, taking out instruments.
And suddenly, a terrible thought struck her. «What am I doing? I’m about to take the life of Paul’s child. This is a part of him, his blood. This baby will always remind me of the most precious person.» «How can I live with this afterwards? For here he is, my meaning in life.» Sonya felt a surge of fury within her. «To hell with everything. With Mom, with Paul, and even with my colleagues who only know how to whisper behind my back. I will give birth to and raise this child, no matter what.»
With sudden determination, she sharply pushed away the doctor, who froze in confusion.
— Excuse me, I changed my mind, she tossed out, getting up from the chair.
The doctor breathed a sigh of relief.
— Well, thank goodness. Then come back in a week to register for prenatal care. Just, please, don’t put it off.
When Sonya returned home after her shift, the sharp smell of fried fish hit her nostrils immediately. She barely had time to clamp a hand over her mouth before she rushed to the bathroom. It didn’t let up for over half an hour. Her mother, standing behind the door, heard everything and began to panic.
— Darling, what’s wrong with you? Could it be food poisoning? Open the door, please, it’s not what I think, is it? she called out anxiously.
When Sonya finally emerged, weakened, into the hallway, her mother stood nearby, silently awaiting an explanation. Sonya couldn’t hold it in and blurted out.
— Yes, Mom, I’m pregnant, can you believe it? Pregnant with Paul’s baby. The same Paul you just kicked out. Now your grandchild will never know who his father is. Are you happy? This is exactly what you wanted, isn’t it? I’m not even thinking about an abortion, and you can just forget that conversation right now. Now leave me alone; I need to lie down.
Overwhelmed and with eyes full of tears, she retreated into her room. Lyudmila clutched her heart and immediately went to the kitchen to take a sedative.
From that day on, Sonya almost stopped talking to her mother, withdrawing and becoming introverted. She rarely left her room, trying to hide her tears. When the pain became unbearable, the girl would place her hands on her belly and begin softly singing lullabies or whispering tender words to her unborn baby. This strangely calmed her, and she would fall asleep with a sense of inner peace.
